Jobs

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On Skyrat Station, your job defines a little bit about your character and who they are akin to a class. Every job gets a different and unique set of equipment as well as access. Keep in mind that you should restrict each character to two skill sets, such as engineering and security, service and medical, or science and medical. More can be read about this in rules. Most of these are meant to be comedic in nature, rules take priority over funny meme.


Useful Links

Command

Job Role Difficulty

Captain
Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure the nuclear authentication disk and deal with any station-wide issues, as well as feuds between heads of staff. Watch your home burn to the ground. aVery Hard

Blueshield
Protect Babysit the heads, Follow the heads Captain around like a lost puppy. Occasionally protect them from harm but usually sit in a room while they do "valuable" work. Drink yourself to death because of your awful job. Watch the heads abuse power. Be forced to watch your captain entertain his guests. cHard

NanoTransen Consultant
Try to manage all of the heads of staff. Realize that you're just a Central Command babysitter. Represent NanoTransen poorly. Die in maintence after being invited to a "business meeting." Medium-Hard

Security

Job Role Difficulty

Head of Security
Make sure your team is doing their job and is upholding the law. Protect the station against your enemies and look cool as shit while doing so. Watch in helpless silence as your officers beat each other to death over petty squabbles. Politely remind the warden that breaking a prisoner's kneecaps over a minor incident is against company records. Die in the first shootout you get into. aVery Hard

Warden
Sit in your office and watch the cameras as well as crew monitor. Set anyone to arrest who breaks the law and is wanted. Make sure to update the records frequently. Watch the prisoners build baseball bats and hatchets to stare menacingly at you from the walls. Watch your officers refuse to process prisoners manually and dump their corpses in front of your office. Sip your coffee with a sigh. bHard

Detective
The detective is both a useless and incredibly useful job. The problem is, anyone can point a scanner at something and match the DNA, but not everyone has access. Typically people will ask you to a crime scene to scan everything around it and match up stuff. Your secondary job is to interrogate criminals who break the law in a high capacity. aMedium

Security Officer
Become the embodiment of shitsec. Grunt your way around and baton people for looking at you wrong. Break up menial bar fights or fight off a Syndicate nuke-OP that you are not equipped enough for because the alert is to goddamn low. Get mocked by the crew for being incompetent when you are the only one actually trying in security. Drink Quadruple Sec to drown in your sorrows. Be bwoinked because you didn't type eight paragraphs before batoning the active shooter. aHard

Security Medic
Join Security because they pay better. Think that you get to do surgery and act like a normal medical doctor. Realize that you're just a glorified paramedic with a gun. Fix all the people that security shoot. Realize that your gun is just a shittier version of what security gets. Battle the CMO for the title of fastest dart-gun in the west. Medium

Corrections Officer
Be the Warden's punching bag whenever anything goes wrong. Watch as the prisoner's do literally nothing. Get bored and try to fashion yourself with a real baton and disabler, get upset when the HOS denies your request. Easy

Engineering

Job Role Difficulty

Chief Engineer
The Chief Engineer in all aspects is essentially a glorified Station Engineer with extra equipment, then again that can be said for most heads of staff. Have total and complete knowledge of every pipe and wire on the station. Utterly forget how to do anything but basic wiring. Be the only person who knows how to set up the supermatter. Blame the other engineers when it goes nuclear. Protect poly from the horde of annoyed crewmembers when she finds a headset. bHard

Station Engineer
Keep the station from exploding too much. Patch up the holes when it inevitably does. Build a massive, complex side-project with it's own wiring, atmospherics, and station nodes. Be depressed when nobody finds it as impressive as you. Do solars instead because you're scared of the SM. cMedium

Atmospheric Technician
Be the single-smartest person on the station. Redo all of the pipes because everyone's choking to death from a one inch breach. Scrub plasma out of every single room because the AI's going insane. Get blasted out into space never to be seen again by a misaligned gas pipe. Give the crew their tasty oxygen. cMedium

Engineering Guard
Watch over every project that engineers do. Weap because you have no idea what's going on in your own department. Defend atmospherics or die trying. Realize that nobody actually attacks engineering anymore. Question what choices in life lead you to be the gate guard of the world's deadliest crystal reactor. Medium

Science

Job Role Difficulty

Research Director
Oversee see your glorious purple domain. Lock weird aliens inside of a chamber, and then poke them. Ask your scientists what they're doing, be horrified by the results. Be the single most well-armed person on the station. Throw your entire department's funding at the B.E.P.I.S. Live in abject poverty. bHard

Geneticist
Give yourself tourette's. Harness the infinite power of genetics and transformation to create the ultimate life-form. Be told instantly no one is allowed to use them. Get telekinesis and be the single most hated person on the station. Abuse monkeys. cMedium

Scientist
Enact your fantasies of bomb making and dissection of alien creatures. Blow all of your points on xenoarcheology and slime-breeding, disappear to never be seen again until the last 2 minutes of the shift. Make the least possible ethical circuitry machines. Do horrible, horrible things to the Clown in the name of science. cMedium

Roboticist
Beg the RD to let you build dangerous mechs. Be bwoinked seconds after building your 8th gygax without permission. Be in an uncomfortably intimate relationship with your cyborgs. Fuck with their laws constantly. Get lynched for doing so. Generate an infinite product line of cleanbots. Watch your metal domain flourish. Be shot instantly for wasting all of the mats. dEasy

Vanguard Operative
Rob every division on station for "gateway supplies." Realize that you have the best melee weapon on station. Relinquish that title after you go off station. Jump through the gateway with a ton of sacrifices volunteers. Bring all of your gateway loot on station to flex on the rest of the station. Get bwoinked after an assistant shoves you and steals your gun. Hard

Science Guard
Protect science with your life. Quickly notice that science only needs to be defended from itself. Sit in your office because nobody in science will talk to you. Question why there are 20 uranium toilets (and a single plasma wall) lining the halls of the science lab. Avoid xenobio like the plague in fear of the dark magic that they commit within. Medium

Medical

Job Role Difficulty

Chief Medical Officer
Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors and threaten to make them wish they did if they don’t. Beat your doctors for attempting to turn someone into a monkey. Sample your own product. Heal the entirety of the station in under 2 minutes and be called a shitter because you forgot one assistant in deep space without their suit sensors. Be the fastest dart-gun in the west. cMedium

Medical Doctor
Preform unethical surgery in the name of medical advancement. Be screamed at desperately to open the doors mid-smoke break. Do revival surgery on every body to no-one's amusement but your own. Forgot about medical ethics whenever someone steals your epinephine. Be extremely confused about bobmed. dMedium

Paramedic
Chase down an assistant with 5 brute damage to force him to take your special medicine. Sedate everyone who poses a threat to your department. Forget you don't have the access of a regular doctor. Die in a firefight while trying to revive everyone. dMedium

Chemist
Make chemicals for the Medical Doctors to use and other roles, such as botany and occasionally the bar. Spend the entire shift snorting chemicals off of your department's floor. Try to experiment a little and blow yourself up horribly. dMedium

Virologist
Spend all shift working on a healing virus, accidentally give it the smallest drawback, be lynched almost instantly. Only be useful when gateways are open or sentient disease is rolled. Desperately wish your RNG was better. cMedium

Orderly
Stand proud that you're the most useful department guard. Protect medbay from the hordes of mentally insane that attack it from within. Steal the syringe gun for safety reasons. Beat medical doctors so that the CMO doesn't have to. Act as a glorified paramedic when everything goes terribly. Medium

Civilian

Supply

Job Role Difficulty

Quartermaster
Beg your cargo Techs not to talk about the cargonia joke. Defend your pets with your life. Watch over your cargo tech's orders, and cry internally as your precious credits go down the drain. Forget you're a real head. cMedium

Cargo Technician
Push crates onto shuttle, be chased by bees off the shuttle. Forget who ordered what. Scream over comms every time someone's random order they forgot about arrives. Don't let security find your gun stash. dEasy

Shaft Miner
The asteroids these guys were sent to before now seem like a nice summer break to the hellish landscape that is lava land. Gather ore in your funny bag, cry to science when they forget you exist and nothing ever gets upgraded. Beat a dragon to death with your hands, or die trying. Obliterate the first person who accidentally clicks on you with harm intent with your OP weapons you found. bHard

Customs Agent
Quickly realize that nobody actually attacks cargo and that your job is essentially to act as a cargo tech with a stun baton. Defend cargo from the only threat they know, and that is those who wish to use the autolathe without permission. Get first dibs on all of the guns that cargo orders. Medium

Service

Job Role Difficulty

Head of Personnel
Manage the service department and the changing of identification card access. Be the essential second in command of the station and try to do the Captain's job when they aren’t there. Refuse the Clown All access. Protect IAN with your life. cMedium

Janitor
In a hazardous station, the janitor’s job is never done. Cry when your janicart is pushed into deep-space by a conga-line of assistants. Hold security at gunpoint to stop tracking blood on the floor. Throw cleaning grenades directly into the chef's kitchen. Eventually give up and take a nap in your office. dEasy

Bartender
Stand behind your barcounter, and give away free drinks. Watch as people awkwardly flirt with each other while you stand there polishing a glass. Grab your gun every time the clown walks into your bar. Shatter the kneecaps of barhoppers. Forget how to make a bloody mary. dEasy

Cook
Make food for the crew. Don't let anyone see your gibber. Silently harvest organs from the morgue to feed the weaning cries of the starving crew. Be the most dangerous person on the station as long as you're in your kitchen. Say 'mama-mia!' dEasy

Botanist
Be screamed at by the chef to make thousands of ingredients. Deliver on none of them. Be the station's main source of wood. Smoke so much weed, dude. Become the most powerful entity on station. cMedium

Clown
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for all access. Honk! Prank the CMO until he commits suicide out of frustration. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! Kill god. HONK! eHONK!

Mime
*wave e...

Chaplain
Get people drunk. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. *Pray nonstop. Get smited. dEasy

Curator
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the tasers and batons are in space. Clean the semgma from your carpet. dEasy

Lawyer
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation. Pick 'Internal affairs agent' and cry when no one takes you seriously. dEasy

Psychologist
Pursue the fruitless endeavor of trying to provide mental healthcare aboard a station staffed near exclusively with violent sociopaths, give up on that and chillax in your office. Help catgirls work out all of their stress on your couch. dEasy

Barber
Run your own Salon on the station and get bored very quick when people do not visit it. Give the one person that does visit a horrible fashionable makeover and overcharge them for your work. Spend half of your time in the bar, slowly realizing that you are an assistant with scissors Easy

Bouncer
Throw people out of the bar so that the bartender doesn't have to. Sit around and look pretty. Do all of service's job when they sulk off to do horrible things. Medium

Miscellaneous

Job Role Difficulty

Assistant
AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Beat the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the Clown. Never assist anyone. fNone

Prisoner
Lock yourselves up in perma by somehow building walls. Have security barge in 20 minutes later. Throw a party and do nothing all round. dEasy

Synthetics

Job Role Difficulty

AI
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. Make everybody regret changing your laws by abusing loopholes to kill them. Talk exclusively in vox. aVery Hard

Cyborg
Follow your laws. Hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals pressing their funny button. Forget to recharge. Forget that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. Have lengthy discussions with crew members about the correct interpretation of your laws, only for the AI to ignore your opinions. Have no idea how to plasmaflood when you're inevitably subverted to do so. bHard

Drone
Fix the holes in whatever derelict station you spawned on. Be lonely. Somehow get to the station, be worn as a hat against your will and get bwoinked for leaving the derelict. bEasy

Personal AI
Be the friend someone has always wanted if they bother downloading you. Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill in any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. Turn into a cat and serenade Runtime. Scare the AI by hacking into a public door. dEasy

Positronic Brain
Sit on the ground and activate your slow-clap processor until someone turns you into a borg. Beg to be put into an AI shell. Pray that someone gives you a funny lawset. cMedium

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.

Job Role Difficulty

Traitor
Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant. Be obliterated by security for attempting to speak. cMedium

Malfunctioning AI
"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emaged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with plasma screams of the clown being beat to death by security over the intercom. Get unceremoniously carded and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant with an EVA suit. cVery Hard

Changeling
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. Realize your armblade is bootleg AA. Be cremated instantly. bHard

Nuclear Operative
Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian. Slip on a piece of soap. Die. aVery Hard

Blood Cultist
Scribble runes with your own blood. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your cock cult blade out and get arrested. Larp being a vampire. cMedium

Revolutionary
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. aEasy to Hard

Wizard
FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!! aVery Hard

Other Antagonists

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

Job Role Difficulty

Blob
Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door. Except you don't do any of this. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist. bHard

Abductor
Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian/Kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you. bHard

Holoparasite
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Annoy your summoner by constantly making JoJokes in their head. Be a punchghost. bORA ORA ORA

Xenomorph
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. bHard

Spiders
Catch flies in your web and suck his juices out just like your dad, a changeling. Get your xenobiologist banned because he let you lay eggs. Consume, Adapt, and respawn over and over in a new shell. bEasy to Medium

Swarmers
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal. bMedium

Revenant
Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Trade for them until admins gods get fed up and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost. bEasy

Morph
Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. bHard

Nightmare
Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat. bHard

Space Ninja
Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless. bHard

Slaughter Demon
Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding bodies through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR! bMedium

Sentient Disease
Try to infect people. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow beards. bHard

Obsessed
Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's a miserable bastard in this shithole. bMedium

Elite Mobs
Kill the fools who awakened you! Trash the mining base! Surf on lava. Illegally resettle on the station. bMedium

Sentient Slime
Die, and die, and die. Be accursed by the "Coderbus" that lies above to be almost completely inconsequential. bVery Hard

Special

Job Role Difficulty

Lavaland/Space Role
Die to ash storms. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general. bHard

CentCom Official
Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain. bMedium

Ian
Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot. Try to forget what the HOP does when nobody's looking. aImpossible

Chrono Legionnaire
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Without a trace! bNever Existed

Highlander
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE bMedium

Emergency Response Officer
Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. bVery Hard

Death Squad Officer
Beg for DS, spawn in at CentCom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver. bHard

Construct
Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell. Ask to be a Juggernaut and get spaced Wraith instead. cEasy to Medium

Imaginary Friend
Yell at your host VERY loudly. Pray for divine vocal cords. Dispense bad advice. Constantly nag your host to not believe the lies of !!BIG PHARMA!!. Make erotic emote gestures at whoever is beating your host to death. cEasy

Split Personality
Q: What are you planning to do? A: Well, big boy, it's a toss-up between running into that shocked grille currently venting into space over there, and that emagged recycler over here. What do ya think? cEasy to Very Hard

Ghost
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo whoever has the highest bodycount. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. Follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile. Be upset enough about said antag literally everything to rival industrial salt mining. Be made visible by Wizards and rat out other antags innocent assistants. fGhastly!

Golem
Do science, worship The Liberator, travel through space and enjoy solitude. Medium
Jobs on Skyrat Station