Psychologist

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Revision as of 12:10, 14 April 2022 by Marrone (Sọ̀rọ̀ | contribs) (Added minimum requirements to infobox.)
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REASON: broken links need to be fixed
PRIORITY: Not defined
SERVICE

Psychologist

Superiors: Head of Personnel
Difficulty: Easy to Extremely hard
Guides: This is the guide
Access:
Duties: Assist depressed crew, listen to people cry about their issues, and watch someone vomit their entire backstory onto you.
Minimum requirements: Talk to any crew seeking your counsel, be nice.

The Psychologist is a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a Dick to suck friend to all. Nominally part of service, and physically part of medbay, they are tasked with diffusing disputes and seeing to the psychological well-being of all the crew.

Duties

Nanotrasen cares deeply about the mental health of its employees, and to this end, they have seen fit to drag an old carpet and couch into a disused broom closet in medbay, even going so far as to hang up a motivational poster. Thus, the Psychology Office was born and qualified individuals sought out to work there.

Your job is primarily to simply talk and listen to any and all who request it, and secondarily to write, sign, and dispense prescriptions (redeemable with the CMO, chemists, doctors, or perhaps even botanists and bartender) and doctor's notes for patients as you see fit. None of this is legally binding, or even required for people to get their meds however, so enjoy sitting in your office sampling your own medicine.

CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Psychology Office
The Psychology Office, your empire of dirt.

You begin the round in your office with a black suit or suit skirt, laceup shoes, a clipboard, a medical PDA equipped with a health scanner (useful for detecting cerebral traumas), a headset with medical frequencies, a small selection of pills, and a burning desire to help or grope others. Also in your office; a medical records laptop, carbon paper and a filing cabinet, a couch and chair for therapy sessions, an adorable moff plushie to comfort those who are reliving traumatic events or for "So talk to the plushie as if it was your boss... what do you want to say to them?" exercises, and a straight jacket, muzzle, earmuffs, and blindfold for the rowdy or "HRP" patients.

You are, make no mistake, essentially useless to the functioning of the station, but don't let that stop you from trying! Here are some ideas on how to best serve the crew:

  • Defer to the HoP, CMO, other heads of staff, and security to help diffuse disputes and talk disagreements into soft landings
  • Help integrate criminals back into working society while they're out on parole
  • Talk to and provide company to sad, angry, confused, traumatized, or bored crew members.
  • Collaborate with the lawyers on perceived injustices and abuses and serve as an expert witness in court.
  • Keep the rarely utilized medical records up to date and add detailed theories on the sexual orientation of the Captain.
  • Conduct totally ethical experiments on how the crew responds to stress and confusion.
  • Offer wholeheartedly to listen to a random assistants extremely in-detail roleplay backstory, spelling errors and all
  • Beg the HOP for a real job

Hypocritical Oath

As a traitor, you have the small luxury of a somewhat secluded and private room that few other crew members have access to, a cozy relationship with two heads of staff, and a disarming and harmless job ripe for exploiting people's trust and vulnerability.

Basically, buy a hypnoflash and have at it.


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