Assistant: Difference between revisions
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[[File:TrashMan.jpeg|thumb|300px|A garbage can, The Assistants natural environment.]] | [[File:TrashMan.jpeg|thumb|300px|A garbage can, The Assistants natural environment.]] | ||
Assistants are the most versatile and expendable workers on the station, with no access and no duties, They are recommended to new-comers who have read or are reading [[New Players|''the tutorial'']] and are still getting their space legs. Or people who are looking exclusively to spend the round buried between a pair of cat-tits. | Assistants are the most versatile and expendable workers on the station, with no access and no duties, They are recommended to new-comers who have read or are reading [[New Players|''the tutorial'']] and are still getting their space legs. Or people who are looking exclusively to spend the round buried between a pair of [[ERP|cat-tits]]. | ||
Assistants begin their shifts around the station but usually congregate in [[Primary Tool Storage]], where they can engage in bloodsport to fight for the right to wield the legendary '''Toolbelt'''. If you are charismatic or lucky, the [[Head of Personnel]] can add more access to your [[Identification Card]]. With more access and perhaps a custom job title, perhaps you can find a purpose on the station at last. Or find someone to throat under their desk, welcome to greytide life. | Assistants begin their shifts around the station but usually congregate in [[Primary Tool Storage]], where they can engage in bloodsport to fight for the right to wield the legendary '''Toolbelt'''. If you are charismatic or lucky, the [[Head of Personnel]] can add more access to your [[Identification Card]]. With more access and perhaps a custom job title, perhaps you can find a purpose on the station at last. Or find someone to throat under their desk, welcome to greytide life. | ||
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==Actually Assisting People== | ==Actually Assisting People== | ||
If you are an assistant and [[Beyond the impossible|wish to actually assist people]], you can try asking over the radio if anyone needs help with anything. This rarely works. You can also approach people in person, which has a higher chance of success. Live out your dreams of being an undersexed secretary... <i> In space! </i> | If you are an assistant and [[Beyond the impossible|wish to actually assist people]], you can try asking over the radio if anyone needs help with anything. This rarely works. You can also approach people in person, which has a higher chance of success. Live out your dreams of being an [[ERP|undersexed secretary]]... <i> In space! </i> | ||
[[E | |||
Particularly helpful, (or unlucky) assistants may want to have a more permanent job on the station. The [[Head of Personnel|HoP]] can promote you to a position if you ask nicely and convince them that you're not a [[traitor|motherfucker]] (this is particularly useful if you are, in fact, a traitor). It helps if that job is urgent, like doctors when the crew is dying or engineers when the supermatter is slowly eating the station. However, the HoP does not ''have'' to, and you will just have to live with that. Unless, of course, you're [[traitor|strapped]]. | Particularly helpful, (or unlucky) assistants may want to have a more permanent job on the station. The [[Head of Personnel|HoP]] can promote you to a position if you ask nicely and convince them that you're not a [[traitor|motherfucker]] (this is particularly useful if you are, in fact, a traitor). It helps if that job is urgent, like doctors when the crew is dying or engineers when the supermatter is slowly eating the station. However, the HoP does not ''have'' to, and you will just have to live with that. Unless, of course, you're [[traitor|strapped]]. | ||
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Due to the lack of responsibility, you'll usually find that assistants are the ones responsible for renovating the bar with a dance floor or boxing ring, converting the dorms into interrogation rooms, and all other sorts of wacky uncharacteristic projects. | Due to the lack of responsibility, you'll usually find that assistants are the ones responsible for renovating the bar with a dance floor or boxing ring, converting the dorms into interrogation rooms, and all other sorts of wacky uncharacteristic projects. | ||
This is greatly encouraged, and is your highest priority. Security be dammed, turn that vacant office into a distorted hellhole. | This is greatly encouraged, and is your highest priority. Security be dammed, turn that vacant office into a distorted hellhole. | ||
Or start fucking and never stop. Can't be given a job if you spend your entire round being wrung like a towel for your genetic material. | Or [[ERP|start fucking and never stop]]. Can't be given a job if you spend your entire round being wrung like a towel for your genetic material. | ||
==Ghost in the System== | ==Ghost in the System== | ||
Revision as of 14:53, 22 July 2020
Assistant |
Superiors: Anyone and everyone
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Assistants are the most versatile and expendable workers on the station, with no access and no duties, They are recommended to new-comers who have read or are reading the tutorial and are still getting their space legs. Or people who are looking exclusively to spend the round buried between a pair of cat-tits.
Assistants begin their shifts around the station but usually congregate in Primary Tool Storage, where they can engage in bloodsport to fight for the right to wield the legendary Toolbelt. If you are charismatic or lucky, the Head of Personnel can add more access to your Identification Card. With more access and perhaps a custom job title, perhaps you can find a purpose on the station at last. Or find someone to throat under their desk, welcome to greytide life.
Sometimes you are a God among men and sometimes you are being molested within twelve seconds of round start. It all depends on how you set up and the luck of the station.
Bare minimum requirements: Desperately attempt not to be banned.
Actually Assisting People
If you are an assistant and wish to actually assist people, you can try asking over the radio if anyone needs help with anything. This rarely works. You can also approach people in person, which has a higher chance of success. Live out your dreams of being an undersexed secretary... In space! [[E Particularly helpful, (or unlucky) assistants may want to have a more permanent job on the station. The HoP can promote you to a position if you ask nicely and convince them that you're not a motherfucker (this is particularly useful if you are, in fact, a traitor). It helps if that job is urgent, like doctors when the crew is dying or engineers when the supermatter is slowly eating the station. However, the HoP does not have to, and you will just have to live with that. Unless, of course, you're strapped.
Duties? What Duties?
Assistants are usually the most aware civilians on the station due to the fact they're constantly on the move. You'll find that that assistants make great informants!
Due to the lack of responsibility, you'll usually find that assistants are the ones responsible for renovating the bar with a dance floor or boxing ring, converting the dorms into interrogation rooms, and all other sorts of wacky uncharacteristic projects. This is greatly encouraged, and is your highest priority. Security be dammed, turn that vacant office into a distorted hellhole. Or start fucking and never stop. Can't be given a job if you spend your entire round being wrung like a towel for your genetic material.
Ghost in the System
It's easy to stay under the radar as an assistant, as you have the least-respected job on the station (aside from that other guy). You have maintenance access, but to go anywhere else you need to be creative. Engage in brutal combat for the insulated gloves and toolbelt from Primary Tool Storage if you can and set out!
The number one advantage of traitor assistant is your opponent's arrogance. Security and other crew members will typically assume you are inexperienced or stupid, or horny. So surprise them with your knowledge of the game's mechanics and skill for preparation by whipping out the entire armory!
This doesn't mean you won't run into a particularly savvy security member who knows the potential danger of an assistant, though. Keep alert at all times. In the rare case that someone actually asks you to assist them, draw them into a quiet place and execute them.